Kai's Feelings
by BlazeFlare
Summary: What happens when Kai confesses to Rei his feelings for him? WARNING: THIS IS NOT YAOI. Please R&R! CHAPTER 5 UP!
1. Kai's feelings

NOTE: THIS IS NOT YAOI!!!! IT IS A PARODY OF ALL THE KAI & REI YAOI FICS. BUT MISTER DICKINSON IS STILL GAY. I HATE HIM. HE'S SO GAY. I WILL THROW HIM DOWN A PIT AND EAT HIM, AND THEN FLY BACK UP SOMEHOW.  
  
Kai's feelings  
  
Rei was sitting on his couch, watching his TV. Then, out of nowhere, Kai came in.  
  
"Rei, there is something I must ask of you." said Kai.  
  
"What's that?" said Rei.  
  
"I love you." said Kai.  
  
"You're kidding right?" said Rei.  
  
"No. I'm not. I want to make love with you." said Kai.  
  
They pause. Rei takes out his beyblade.  
  
"YOU SICKO!!!!" said Rei.  
  
He aims at Kai's arm and shoots.  
  
"No, what are you doing. I love you." said Kai.  
  
"Yeah, well... you're retarded!" said Rei.  
  
Tyson walks in.  
  
"What the heck? Holy crap! What happened to your arm Kai?" said Tyson.  
  
"NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!" said Rei.  
  
"Why not?" said Tyson.  
  
"Because -" Rei is cut off.  
  
"I love you..." said Kai.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! DRAGOON!!! AHHHHHHHTACK!" said Tyson.  
  
The beyblade swept through the air and cut off Kai's right leg.  
  
"Why don't you love me?" said Kai.  
  
"Because you're not totally sweet awesome!" said Rei.  
  
Max walks in.  
  
"What's totally sweet awesome?" said Max.  
  
"My love for you..." said Kai.  
  
"Oh, that's ok! It's just... Wait a second... Did you just...?" said Max.  
  
"Yes, yes he did." said Tyson.  
  
Another pause.  
  
"DRACIEL ATTACK!!!!!" said Max.  
  
The beyblades flies and cut off Kai's chance of having children.  
  
"I didn't need it anyway...." said Kai.  
  
"AHHH!!!!!" said Rei.  
  
Kenny walks in.  
  
"What's all this super news I hear?" said Kenny.  
  
"Kenny... You're the only one left..." said Kai.  
  
"For battle chip cards?" said Kenny.  
  
"NO!! FOR NASTYNESS!" said Max.  
  
"That's all I needed to hear... Dizzy ATTACK!!" said Kenny.  
  
"But I can't attack! I'm a laptop!" said Dizzy.  
  
"Who cares!?" said Kenny.  
  
Kenny throws his laptop at Kai like a shuriken(ninja star) and it cuts off his left leg.  
  
"Why can't I love you..." said Kai.  
  
5 months later  
  
After getting all of his body parts sowed back on, Kai comes back.  
  
"Why hello there, Kai. Feeling better?" said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Yeah, I guess..." said Kai.  
  
"Well then why don't you put your dick in son?" said Mr.(or should I say Mrs.) Dickinson.  
  
"You're a girl?" said Kai.  
  
"Yup." said Mrs. Dickinson.  
  
"Well, I'm not your son... But I'll do it anyway!" said Kai.  
  
THE END 


	2. Kai still has feelings

(Insert what was in chapter 1 here)  
  
Kai still has feelings  
  
Even though Kai was rejected by all the other bladers, he still had fun with Mr. Dickinson. But he still had some feelings for them, so he decided to show them, in a place you'd least expect...  
  
"Hey Rei." said Kai.  
  
"Get away from me, you freak!" said Rei.  
  
"No, it's ok. I've gotten some help." said Kai.  
  
"What kind of help?" said Rei.  
  
"Uh... Never mind." said Kai.  
  
"Whatever..." said Rei.  
  
They head to the park, where they see the beyblade arena.  
  
"You ready Rei?" said Kai.  
  
"Ready for what?" said Rei.  
  
"Sex, I mean, Battling." said Kai.  
  
"Oh, ok." said Rei.  
  
They got their blades ready, and they started.  
  
"DRIGER, TIGER CLAW ATTACK!" said Rei.   
  
"DRANZER, DEFEND!" said Kai.  
  
The battle continued, but Rei noticed something really strange...  
  
"Kai, are you getting an erection?" said Rei.  
  
"Uhh, nooo..." said Kai.  
  
"Sure looks like it." said Rei.  
  
He tried to continue, but Rei couldn't resist.  
  
"Kai, what is up with you?" said Rei.  
  
"Nothing..." said Kai.  
  
Kai starts walking around the beyblade arena.  
  
"Umm... What the heck are you doing?" said Rei.  
  
"I want you Rei." said Kai.  
  
Rei shudders at the thought.  
  
"Get away from me!" said Rei.  
  
Mr. Dickinson comes along.  
  
"It's ok Rei. Being gay is not wrong." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Yeah, but I don't even like him!" said Rei.  
  
"Yes, but that doesn't matter. It is your destiny to fall in love with him and marry." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Are you a frigging zombie?" said Rei.  
  
"Yes. I am." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Alright, first I find out your a girl, then I find out your a zombie. What next?" said Kai.  
  
Max, Tyson, and Kenny all walk in.  
  
"Hey guys!" said Max.  
  
"Watch out, there's a transvestite zombie, and a gay freak 2 metres away from you." said Rei.  
  
Max, Tyson and Kenny all look over.  
  
"I suggest we run." said Rei.  
  
The foursome run away, screaming.  
  
"Ah crap..." said Kai.  
  
"Don't worry chuck. You'll get it." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"My name's not chuck..." said Kai.  
  
"It is now." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
THE END  
  
LOOK FOR CHAPTER 3 SOON! 


	3. Kai's impatient

(You know what goes here, lol)  
  
Kai's impatient  
  
The Beyblade tournament was coming up, and Kai knew exactly what he was going to do in it. He wanted to show the whole COUNTRY how he felt, and no one would stop him.  
  
"So, uh. Kai, you've changed?" said Rei.  
  
"Yeah, I think so. Say. You know that there's a beyblade tourney coming up?" asked Kai.  
  
"I've heard about it. Are you entering?" said Rei.  
  
"You bet. I'm going to rock the house!" said Kai.  
  
"Yeah. right." said Rei.  
  
Max came along.  
  
"You feeling better, Kai?" said Max.  
  
"Better? Yes, a lot better." said Kai  
  
"Hmm. Something doesn't seem right." said Max.  
  
"What are you talking about? I'm not gay." said Kai.  
  
"What?" said Rei and Max together.  
  
"Oh sorry, I meant happy. Uhh. My grandpa died." said Kai.  
  
They trained for a few days, until finally, the tournament came. They were all spruced up for it, especially Kai.  
  
"Are you ready?" yelled AJ Topper.  
  
"YEAH!!" cried the fans.  
  
"3. 2. 1. LET IT RIP!" said AJ.  
  
Immediately, Kai stripped of his shirt.  
  
"Sir! You're not aloud to do that here!" said AJ.  
  
"Who says? C'mon Rei, you want me right?" said Kai.  
  
"Kai, you're at it again!" said Rei.  
  
"At it? I'm ON you!" said Kai.  
  
The battle started, and everyone in the crowd was confused. What the heck is happening?  
  
"C'mon, let's do this the new-way!" said Kai.  
  
"New way?" said Rei.  
  
"I love you Rei! I've always had! Even when I hated you!" said Kai.  
  
"That's impossible. You're a retard." said Rei.  
  
All of the sudden, Jerry Springer walked in.  
  
"So, Kai, let's see your view." said Jerry.  
  
"Where the heck did you come from?" said Rei.  
  
"Mr. Dickinson. I'm his son." said Jerry.  
  
"Jerry Springer is my brother?" said Kai.  
  
"Well. not exactly. You see." said Jerry.  
  
"I really don't want to hear this." said Rei.  
  
He quickly took his beyblade, and ran away. Max followed.  
  
"What is up with Kai?" said Max.  
  
"Let's call it. Being lured to the opposite sex." said Rei.  
  
"What?" said Max.  
  
"He's gay." said Rei.  
  
"Wait. I've figured something out! If Kai likes you, and you're ugly, then that means that he hates hot men!" said Max.  
  
"Max." said Rei.  
  
"Yeah??" said Max.  
  
"Shut up." said Rei.  
  
THE END  
  
WATCH OUT! IT'S CHOCOLATEY! CHAPTER 4 COMING SOON! 


	4. Kai's new feeling

(BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!)  
  
Kai's new feeling  
  
Kai has been trying to get a Rei for about 3 months now, but he has never succeeded. But now he has a NEW plan.  
  
"Hey Rei. What's up?" said Kai.  
  
"Umm... Nothing much..." said Rei.  
  
"Where's Max?" said Kai.  
  
"Oh, I think he went home to get a shower. Uh... Why do you ask?" said Rei.  
  
"No reason." said Kai as he licks his lips.  
  
After Rei had left, Kai snuck over to Max's house. He peared threw the bathroom window. He quickly had an erection. Then he took his trusty ol' crowbar and hit the window.  
  
"What was that?" said Max while he was in there.  
  
Max came out of the shower completely naked. Kai licked his lips again.  
  
"Wonder what it was." said Max.   
  
He looks over.  
  
"Oh, hi Kai! How's it... Wait... What the heck are you doing here?" said Max.  
  
"Oh, uh... I dropped my beyblade... In the toilet..." said Kai.  
  
"There's no beyblade in my toilet... Get out of my house." said Max.  
  
Kai left, but he still wanted to see him naked. He broke in threw the upper floor window, and waited under Max's bed.  
  
Max came in.  
  
"I think I'll play Game Boy. And what the heck is up with Kai..." said Max.  
  
He sat on his bed. Kai came out from under the bed, and started to touch Max's behind.  
  
"Sparky, stop that." said Max.  
  
Kai kept on touching it. Drool came down his face.  
  
"Sparky!" said Max.  
  
Max turned around.  
  
"Spar...Kai? What the heck? What are you doing?" said Max.  
  
"I want you Max." said Kai.  
  
"MOM! GET THE DOUBLE BARREL SHOTGUN!!!" said Max.  
  
"Oh crap..." said Max.  
  
Max's mom comes into the room.  
  
"He was touching my butt!" said Max.  
  
"WHAT? *Cocks the shotgun* DIE!!!" said Max's mom.  
  
She fires at Kai, but Kai jumps out the window.  
  
"Nice try, Mom." said Max.  
  
"What do you mean? I still have my PSG1(sniper rifle)!" said Max's mom.  
  
She goes to the window, and sees Kai, running away.  
  
"DIE!!!!" Max's mom yelled!  
  
She shoots 5 bullets, but they all miss. But she knows her sixth bullet will hit him.  
  
"YOU SON OF A *****" said Max's mom.  
  
She shoots, and hits Kai's left leg off.  
  
"Crap! My leg!" said Kai.  
  
Kai manages to get away. He sees Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Ah man... I almost got him." said Kai.  
  
"Ah well... If you put your mind too it, you can succeed." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Let's go to Burger King." said Kai.  
  
"OK." said Mr. Dickinson  
  
Mr. Dickinson turns into a Gundam, and they fly away.  
  
THE END   
  
CHAPTER 5 COMING TO A FANFICTION.NET NEAR YOU! 


	5. Kai's newest plan

(Humdeedum)  
  
Kai's newest plan  
  
Tyson, Kenny, and Rei were playing volleyball. Kai came along, with his leg sowed back on.  
  
"Hey guys. Can I play?" said Kai.  
  
"No, we've decided that we're not your not our friend anymore." said Kenny.  
  
"Gargle?" said Kai.  
  
"Chunker." said Tyson.  
  
"But guys, I won't do any of that stuff ever again! I promise!" said Kai.  
  
"Are you sure?" said Rei.  
  
"Positive." said Kai.  
  
"Alright, I guess so..." said Rei.  
  
They continued the game, and it became 2 on 2. Kai was on Tyson's team.   
  
"Alright, let's go!" yelled Kenny.  
  
They played, but Kai had other plans... When Tyson when up for a spike, Kai reached up his shorts.  
  
"Ahh!!!! My nads!" said Tyson.  
  
Kai took off Tyson's pants, and ran away.  
  
"My pants!" yelled Tyson.  
  
They tried following Kai, but they lost sight of him. Tyson went home and changed, and then they went to the park.  
  
"Ah man... I can't believe he took my pants." said Tyson.  
  
"Yeah, he always tricks us." said Rei.  
  
They had a couple beyblade matches, when finally Kai came.  
  
"Hey guys..." said Kai.  
  
They turned around.  
  
"Ahhh!!!! He's wearing my pants!" said Tyson.  
  
"Yeah, and they're comfortable too." said Kai.  
  
Kai plunges at Tyson, right into the beyblade dish.  
  
"Kai! The game is still on!" said Rei.  
  
But he didn't listen. Tyson managed to get out of the dish, but Kai was still in there. He was cut up very badly.  
  
"Holy crap!" said Kenny.  
  
"I'm not finished!" said Kai.  
  
"When are you going to be? I need to have supper soon." said Tyson.  
  
"About... 6PM. Is that OK?" said Kai.  
  
"Sure." said Tyson.  
  
Kai started chasing Tyson. We all knew Kai was faster than him, so he caught up.   
  
"Let me go!" said Tyson.  
  
"No, my lover." said Kai.  
  
"Dang it, you're so gay!" said Tyson.  
  
"I know." said Kai.  
  
Tyson got free, and thought up a quick plan.  
  
"Nuts, I have to go!" said Tyson.  
  
"Ah... Man... See ya tomorrow..." said Kai.  
  
Tyson ran back to where Rei and Kenny were.  
  
"How did you get free?" said Rei.  
  
"Some help from my friend time." said Tyson.  
  
"You have a friend name time?" said Rei.  
  
"Haha... I get it!" said Kenny.  
  
"Who the heck is time? Frig. It sounds like something important." said Rei.  
  
Meanwhile, back with Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"He had to go home..." said Kai.  
  
"Why didn't you chase after him?" said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Uhh... I hate you." said Kai.  
  
"Let's watch a movie." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"OK." said Kai.  
  
Mr. Dickinson turns into a video-cassete, and they watch "The Matrix".  
  
THE END  
  
L00K F02 CH4P732 51X 500N! 


	6. Kai's evil plan

(chunker)  
  
Kai's evil plan  
  
Kai was getting really mad about this. But then he thought about Kenny. He knew he would be easy to get at, so he headed for his house.  
  
*ding dong* Kenny opened the door.  
  
"AHHH!!!!" said Kenny.  
  
"Don't worry. I just came over to ask for help with homework." said Kai.  
  
Kai indeed had his work stuff, so Kenny let him in. They went down stairs to work on it.  
  
"So... What did you need help with?" said Kenny.  
  
"Well... You see, there's this math stuff that I don't understand..." said Kai.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll help you." said Kenny.  
  
Kenny showed him what to do, but then started to switch subjects.  
  
"I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back." said Kenny.  
  
"OK." said Kai, smiling.  
  
Kenny quickly ran to the bathroom. Kai crept behind, and picked the door that was locked.  
  
"AHHHH!!!! What are you doing?" said Kenny.  
  
"You're cornered Kenny..." said Kai.  
  
"AHHHH!!!!!" said Kenny.  
  
Little did Kai know that Kenny had been taking care of Sparky, Max's dog.  
  
"You're mine!" said Kai. "SPPPPAAAARRKKYYY!!!!!" said Kenny.  
  
"Huh?" said Kai.  
  
Out of no where, crazy Japanese rock music blasted the speakers. Sparky came down the steps, and jump up on Kai's arm.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!! NO!!!!" said Kai.  
  
Sparky dug his teeth into Kai's arm, and ripped it off.  
  
"This isn't the end!" said Kai.  
  
2 MONTHS LATER  
  
Max was taking care of Sparky again. They were playing in the field. Max was fetching the dog a bone. Then Kai came.  
  
"Hey Max. Can I help fetch the bone?" said Kai.  
  
"Can you promise not to do anything?" said Max.  
  
"Yeah..." said Kai.  
  
"OK." said Max.  
  
Kai fetched the dog the bone a few times, but had a plan.  
  
"Hey Sparky, fetch this bone!" said Kai.  
  
Kai then grew a HUGE you know what. Sparky saw it, but being smart, bit it off.  
  
"AHHHH!!! IT STINGS!" said Kai.  
  
4 MONTHS LATER  
  
"AH MAN!" said Kai.  
  
"Don't worry... Kai... Do you want to know the truth about being gay?" said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
"Uhh... I guess..." said Kai.  
  
"Follow me..." said Mr. Dickinson.  
  
They both jump 350 feet in the air, and land on a building.  
  
THE END  
  
LOOK FOR THE NEXT... UHH... CHAPTER!!! 


End file.
